Video editing is resource intensive, so higher-end hardware is recommended. Do a WEB search for "PCs for video editing."
For lengthy, multi-track, complex projects use Videopad's 64-bit version.
Large projects can be broken up into more manageable pieces, each exported, then those exports later assembled for final export.
With large very high-def files, Proxy Editing can speed up rendering regardless of what editor is being used because smaller files are imported and worked with during the session. Click the link for a explanation.
In general, the fewer tracks the better. Embedding sequences in the main sequence should not cause the problems you describe in #4 above, but we'd have to see the project to analyze what's going on. An intro or outro can be an embedded sequence.
For tips on dipping music under speech, see your other post.